| Ask Mom: Clamping Down on Biting | | Posted on Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 10:16pm |  (Wisdom) is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her, (Proverbs 3:15)
Dear Mom:
Help! My 2 year-old son bites his playmates! The church nursery doesn’t want him in Sunday school any longer. What can I do?
Biting is very common with toddlers and preschoolers. And it’s been my personal observation that boys tend to bite more than girls. Little guys, under 12 months explore with their mouths, and don’t understand the difference between gnawing on a toy and biting someone. A firm “no, biting” usually takes care of it. Around twelve months, infants start to realize they can get a reaction when they do something. They bang a spoon and it makes a noise. They bite their older sibling and they get a loud scream. A very popular YouTube video demonstrates this.
Toddlers and preschoolers bite more out of frustration or they are excited. They don’t have the skills yet to express their emotions and feelings. Children often bite because they feel tired, hungry, or stressed. A room full of preschoolers often causes a child to feel stressed and territorial, and biting is a way of releasing those emotions. Biting usually subsides once a child learns to express his feelings, but it cannot be taken lightly because it can be dangerous. It's tempting to want to bite the child to demonstrate how it feels. Trust me, don't go there, but here are a few suggestions instead:
1. Make an appointment with the Sunday school teacher (child care person) to discuss how you can work together to solve the problem. It’s important that you don’t draw too much attention to the biting, but deal with it consistently at home and away.
2. Figure out the reasons for the biting at the time. Is the child tired? Is there too much activity going on at the moment? Does the child want something another child has? Is the child bored or need some extra attention? Was the other child bullying, and the biter lashed out in self-preservation?
3. Watch for trigger situations that may lead to biting. Try to ward off the problem before it happens.
4. Act quickly. Tell your child immediately, “No, biting. Biting hurts.”
5. Remove the child to a time-out area.
6. Bring the biter back to ask forgiveness and to console the victim.
7. Teach the child words to express their feelings such as “I’m mad.” “I want that.” “Can I have a turn?”
In working on this blog post, I discovered that there are a lot of sites about biting. Apparently it’s one of the most common reasons kids are expelled from day care, so don’t feel your child is a monster because he is going through a biting stage.
Don't lose heart--the stage will pass. Above all “Let the peace of Christ rule in your heart," (Colossians 3:15).
Here are a couple of sites with more information:
http://www.ncac.gov.au/factsheets/biting.pdf
http://www.kidsource.com/kidsource/content3/biters.p.t.4.html
Related posts: Tame the Tantrums, My Child is a Whiner | | | | |
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