Reason with Your Child

The Lord told the Israelites, “Come now, let us reason together,” (Isaiah 1:18). Throughout the Bible, God teaches spiritual truths through reasoning and explaining the consequences of sin and the rewards for obedience. Reasoning with a child enables parents to plant seeds of understanding and faith.

1. Determine your child’s reasoning capabilities. Professional Counselor, Don Didier says, “Children are born with the ability to reason and can make informed choices very early in life.” A child gains most of the vocabulary he will understand during his entire life time between the ages of four and six and can make very intellectual connections.

2. Remember that every child is a unique. One child might reason with more concrete, black and white thoughts, while another reacts from emotions and feelings. One child can quickly come to a logical conclusion and another must repeat the thinking process. Pay attention to such clues and reason with each child according to how he thinks and processes information.

3. Ask your child questions. Starting questions with why, how, what or when, allows children to express feelings and unlocks their thinking process. When your child asks “Why?”– question back instead of giving a direct answer. Find out what they are really asking. They may not have the capacity to express their true question. Reasoning rather than just telling helps children discover truths, including spiritual ones, on their own. A child who feels he figured something out — and not just told by his parents — will more likely retain and apply the information.

4. Give your child choices. Grace Ketterman, MD, in her book “Parenting the Difficult Child,” (Thomas Nelson) says “Responsibility is gained through a child’s ability to make wise decisions. Developing this skill demands that parents give the child limited choices as often as possible.” Allowing a child to gather information and make choices such as the clothes he wears or the games he plays, sets the foundation of making moral or ethical choices later. 

The Lord told Isaiah to “come.” Parents should start early making their children feel comfortable to come to them and discuss anything. Parents, who consistently reason with their children, will find they enjoy dialoguing with their growing child.