Carla's Weblog

Cheerful Competitors

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 03:05:00 PST

I love watching my grandkids play together.

We have two sets—one pair is three years-old (two weeks apart) and the other pair five (eight months difference). It seems that whatever one child does another one must try too. The amazing thing is, in spite of their competing natures, they rarely seem to get angry with one another. Each child simply has to prove he or she can do whatever his or her cousin “sibling” can do—and do it better.

Perhaps they come by it naturally. Their fathers, Joshua and Josiah, two years apart, definitely competed with one another--especially when the younger grew taller than the older. “Shot gun!” was the cry most mornings as they raced to the car for school. Now as grown men, they’re the best of friends, but I still see that competitiveness rise up once in a while.

Competition is a natural part of growing up and when kept in perspective helps kids improve. However, if not kept in check it can cause bitterness and grief, especially to mothers. How can we encourage kids to compete in healthy ways?

End jealousy. Kids can fight over toys or who gets the front seat, but when they become jealous of the sibling with the toy then it’s time to step in. ( If allowed to fester and grow, jealousy can lead to division in a family.

Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? Proverbs 27:4)

Many times we would purposely set up situations that might cause jealousy. Sounds strange doesn’t it? But it’s affective and biblical. When Jesus told Peter how he would die, the apostle quickly asked how John would die. Jesus basically retorted with, “What’s that to you?” (John 21:20-22). When our kids wanted to know our plans for one of their siblings, we reminded them of this story. I try hard to resist making sure if I do something for one grandchild that I don’t feel compelled to do something for another— but that’s a tough one sometimes.

Endorse healthy competition. Competition can make kids stretch and try new things. In our family we make sure everyone “competes according to the rules” (2 Timothy 2:5). And God’s second greatest rule is to love one another. Competition should spring out of love, not trying to prove you’re better than anyone else. Micah (5 ½ ) and Eppie Grace (almost 5) really love one another. And while they compete with each other, they also encourage and cheer one another to succeed.

Encourage strengths. While there may be similarities, God knits each child differently, not special, but unique. Since the Lord is our true strength, we taught our kids (2 Corinthians 10:17) “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.” Teaching dependence on God is essential for building the strengths in a child. Micah has been reading for quite some time, and Eppie is just now starting to catch on. They both have strong interest in music—Micah for piano and Eppie for the harp.

Embark upon ways to serve. Teach kids to cheer one another on, instead of competing. On occasion I took charge of the “shotgun” race and whoever won, had to give the front seat up to the loser. After all, “the last will be first, and the first will be last” (Matthew 20:16). Our three-year-olds, Moriah and Benjamin, always watch out for one another and want to make sure that their buddy is okay.

Competition never grew out of proportion in our family, since we all made it our goal to become “losers for Jesus.” Teaching our kids the spiritual concept of losing their life for Christ and laying it down for one another provided the foundation for the wonderful relationship Joshua and Josiah have today. When I'm with these two, I can never get a word in edge-wise. Their wives just ignore them and let them do their brother thing. My sons tell stories, challenge one another, and laugh. I see the same with their children. I wonder if there is a gene that causes cheerful competition.

. . . the cheerful heart has a continual feast. (Proverbs 15:15)

What about your family? Do you have some little competitors in your household? Share your experiences and how you handle jealousy and comparison.

Loving Your Husband

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 06:43:00 PST

My husband and I spend our time between two homes located about an hour and half apart. We have a small house in the country, which for several years was our full time residency, but now we stay about 50% of the year at each place. It can become a bit daunting at times and confusing—I tend to mix-up in my brain what supplies I have at each house. However, this lifestyle has caused me to understand the meaning of words from an old gospel song: “This world is not home, I’m just a passing through. My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue.”

When we’re in the country, which is the case at the present, we frequently have people stay with us. While I love seeing family and friends and miss seeing my grandbabies as often as I do when in town, once in a while I long for some time alone with my husband. This past weekend was the first time since before Thanksgiving that we haven’t had company or we were together at the same house. I asked Timothy for some “me and you” time, and we managed to keep the phone and Skype calls to a bare minimum, and said no to visitors. We were in the middle of a severe winter storm and power outages, which meant we weren’t going anywhere. So we had a lovely couple of days sitting before the woodstove, talking and planning, working on our computers, watching old movies, praying together, and simply resting.

I didn’t realize how much I needed that time. Timothy and I have a super busy life-style. While we’re technically empty-nesters, our nest seems anything but empty. Between ministry, writing, and running a business, our minds and time are spent on many other things instead of “you and me.” I imagine many of you feel the same way. You’re so busy supporting your families and raising your kids you find it hard to focus on one another. Sometimes it feels like you’re not even on the same planet. Our busy lifestyles keep us from loving and understanding each other and we may feel like throttling our husbands sometimes.

So how can we love our husbands, even if we don’t have that close “you and me” time like we desire? Here are a few lessons I’ve learn in thirty-seven years of marriage.

First we must accept our biblical roles in marriage. The society, including the church, has shifted its views of our roles, leaving many couples confused and indecisive. But God’s Word is very clear as to what our positions are in marriage.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife
as Christ is the head of the church,
his body, of which he is the Savior.
Now as the church submits to Christ,
so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything . . .
and the wife must respect her husband, (Ephesians 5:22-24, 33).

Accept and enjoy your purpose. Woman was created as a helper to man. The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18). When you enjoy serving, the job is easier and the love flows freely.

Love unconditionally, expecting nothing in return. I read once that the rate of hits on a dating service for married people (Yes, for extramarital affairs) goes up after Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day. Women tend to expect their husbands to shower attention on them, and when their expectations are not met, they become embittered. When we follow God’s example and love sacrificially, our reward is deeper and lasting, and our relationships more meaningful.

Accepting your position in marriage doesn’t mean becoming subservient and compliant no matter what. It does mean, however, becoming a servant and looking out for the needs of my husband over my own. Find ways to ease your husband’s burdens. It’s being a partner, working alongside one another.

You, my (sisters), were called to be free.
But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature ;
rather, serve one another in love, (Galatians 5:13).

Pray for your husband, daily. Each day before I rise out of bed, I reach over and lightly touch Timothy and pray for him. When I travel I take his photo and place it on by bedside table. I pray very specifically for things going on in his life at the time. This “spiritual discipline” has many times helped me to overlook shortcomings and hurt feelings. How can I harbor bad attitudes if I’m before God?

Let the Holy Spirit do his job. We are called to help our husbands, not change them. Conviction is the work of the Holy Spirit, not a wife’s. Women often complain that their husbands do not confide in them or talk. Perhaps silence is their way of going to the corner of the roof to escape a nagging wife. It’s not our job to “fix” our husbands.

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife, (Proverbs 21:9 & Proverbs 25:25. The writer of Proverbs thought it necessary to repeat this statement.) I’ve seen more results in silence and prayer than with nagging, and usually it’s my own heart that is convicted.

Set aside time for each other. Timothy and I realized that we needed time together. Even though we’re physically alone most of the time, we sometimes are together in heart and mind. Taking time out to focus on your relationship strengthens your bond. Make sure your kids know that Daddy’s preferences and needs come first.

The apostle Paul called marriage a “profound mystery.” It represents a wonderful image of Christ and his church. Christ’s sacrificial love and the church’s submission is our role model for a happy marital relationship. Remember that God is love and when we look to him, he will give us the love we need for our husbands. We may still want to “throttle” them at times, but we’ll do so in love.

Lefties: Knitted in the Womb

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 08:12:00 PST

Recently I noticed that our three-year-old grandson Benjamin seems to have left-handed tendencies. Not surprising since his father, our son Joshua, is a lefty. For centuries, left-handedness held a stigma, even placing criminal tendencies or dealings with the devil on lefties. Children were often “re-educated.”

Over thirty years ago Timothy and I were house parents at a home for developmentally impaired men (hopefully I’m using the politically correct label). One of “our” guys was a forty-something loveable gentleman named George (name changed). One day I asked George to sign some paperwork for me, and as he struggled to sign his name with his right hand, he told me his story.

Seems that George was born a lefty, but his mother forced him to use his right hand—even to the point of tying his left hand behind him. She told him that he would grow up stupid and become a bad person if he used his left hand. Secretly he used his left hand when Mom or teachers were not watching. He confessed that during his teen years he was a peeping Tom and blamed it on being left-handed. Poor guy. I gave George permission to use his left hand anytime he wanted, and the change and the peace he experienced was amazing. Later when my own son started showing tendencies of left-handedness I recalled George’s struggles. I determined to give Joshua the freedom to become the person God knitted him to be.

After noticing Benjie’s lefty tendencies I dug out an interesting Wall Street Journal article I had tucked away last month (Dec. 6, 2011). “Handedness, as the dominance of one hand over the other is called, provides a window into the way our brains are wired, experts say. And it may help shed light on disorders related to brain development, like dyslexia, schizophrenia and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, which are more common in left-handed people.”

HA! When Joshua dealt with dyslexia and other perceptual struggles, I asked counselors if there was a correlation with left-handedness. They told me absolutely not, that left-handedness was genetic. Since so many of our guys in the home were lefties, I always assumed there was a connection. Now I have research to back up my suspicions. Left-handed people make up about 10% of the population, while 1% of the population appears not to be dominant with either hand, known as mixed-handed. Handedness is only partially genetic (25%) and for reasons not clearly understood, depends mainly on how a baby's brain develops while in the womb. One study revealed that stress during a pregnancy causes cortisol, the main stress hormone, to cross over in the placenta. Boy was I stressed when I carried Joshua! But that’s another story.

God created humans asymmetric. Early in our embryonic development, the heart turns to the left. The liver develops on the right. The left and right lungs have distinct structure. Brain lateralization, the distribution of function into right and left hemispheres, is crucial for understanding language, thought memory and perhaps even creativity. Handedness, another basic human asymmetry, reflects the structure and function of the brain, and the reversed pattern is relatively common.

Now why do I think this is important, besides the fact that it might affect my darling grandson? Because it confirms that God indeed knits our children in the womb.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:13-14)

As a young child gaining his dominant hand, Joshua expressed concerned about becoming a lefty. He had heard this verse: The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left (Ecclesiastes 10:2).Apparently he feared that he couldn’t follow God because he always went to the left. I reassured him that God had knitted him in the womb and had a plan for him. We read the story of lefthanded Ehud who saved Israel from a wicked King (Judges 3). And how the priest poured oil into their left hands and that he could be a vessel of the oil of the Spirit (Leviticus 14). God may encourage us to veer to the right, but He sent his Son to do the “out of the norm” and die on the Cross. He knitted each child unique and has something different plan for them.

In spite of what George’s mother told him, there is no difference in intelligence between right-and left-handed people. But lefties have stronger divergent thinking, the ability to start from existing knowledge to develop new concepts, which is considered an element of creativity. My Joshua is certainly creative and his son shows similar traits.

While it's certain that handedness runs in families, experts say that one thing remains a mystery—why the population of lefties has remained at 10% for generations. It's obviously all part of God's plan. Watching my son, helped me to realize how tough it is for left-handed people in a right-handed world. But I also know it kept him dependent on God. If it’s true that left-handedness is associated with a greater risk for a number of psychiatric and developmental disorders, then God has a plan in knitting that in the womb as well, and I will praise Him.

Related Posts

Disabilities, a Gift from God

Nurturing Creativity

The Beat of a Different Drum

WinePress New Website Up and Running

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 00:02:00 PST

I'm excited to announce that WinePress' new website is up and running. We've worked for nearly a year to improve and place resources that will help writers, including:

A free manuscript evaluation service.
A free Publishing Essentials booklet.
Plus lots of other info and resources.

If you're a aspiring or seasoned writer and have questions about publishing, then check it out.

The Spiritual Mom Site

I have to admit that I'm a little self-serving here, because now I/we can focus on MY new site. I'm scheduling to launch it January 14th. It will be very similar to my present site, but with many new resources and options such as:

Online Closed Bible Study The Spirit-Mentored Mom
Articles, videos,
Ask Mom Q & A and Prayer Page
Give Aways
And more.

If you've been following my Monday blogs, you know the struggles I've felt the past many months striving to balance my work with WinePress with my writing, speaking ministry. My prayer for 2012 is to stay resolved to remain in God's will every step of the way.

Thanks for your patience as I wait on the Lord for my e-zine, blogs, and website.

Putting Resolve into Action

Mon, 9 Jan 2012 07:10:00 PST

Last Monday I shared that I felt resolutions and yearly goals were not working for me and this year the Lord impressed on my heart three things: Resolve, Focus, and Action. I have only one “goal” for 2012:

For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified, 1 Corinthians 2:2.

As I pray about how to keep this resolve, the greatest commandment came to my heart and mind:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' (Mark 12:30)

The “all” passages have always been the center of my speaking and writing ministry. They have guided my husband Timothy and I in our marriage, family, and ministry. So instead of resolutions for 2012, I’ve made a list of “action steps” that would take me deeper into making God my “all in all.” Endeavors and efforts to help me to stay resolved to know nothing but the heart of God. I would like to share a few of them with you today.

Heart

Resolve to release the desires of my heart to God.

Focus: Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

My greatest desire is that all my children and grandchildren walk in the deepest relationship possible with the Lord, full of the Holy Spirit. My other deepest desire is that other women walk closer with God and His Spirit, reflecting the aspect of His image created in them.

Action Steps:

Devote more time in prayer for each one, praying for their hearts like never before.
Stay focus on completing my new website (scheduled to release Jan 14th), start the virtual bible study, Reflecting the Image of God, faithfully blog, write, and send out my newsletter.

Mind

Resolve to take every thought captive that goes against the will of God.

Focus: We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Action Steps:

Delve into Scripture more, asking God to speak to me through it in deeper ways.
Walk in the Light with thoughts, as God leads, that “sets itself up against the knowledge of God.”
Rejoice more, thanking God for His goodness. Keep a “joy” journal, listing answer prayers and things that give me joy—not necessarily happiness, but joy.
Take ungodly thoughts captive replace it with pure ones that place my heart and mind at rest.

Soul

Resolve to rest in His Presence more.

Focus: Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. (Psalm 62:5-6)

Action Steps:

Set time to read, nap, paint, or whatever God leads to draw me into His Presence.
Purchase Glynnis Whitwer’s book I Used to Be Organized
Set some parameters on my work schedule.
Tackle the areas that remain cluttered in my life.

Strength

Resolve to gain a deeper level of self-control, by becoming more “Spirit-controlled.”

Focus: You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. (Romans 8:9)

Action Steps:

Purchase Made to Grace Action Plan and Made to Crave Devotional by Lysa TerKeurst.
Move more, but "keep in step with the Spirit, " (Galatians 5:25).
Allow God to work the self-discipline by revealing my justifications and ungodly habits.

Some might ask if I’m still making the same old New Year’s resolutions list. No, this is much deeper and courageous and hopeful. My focus is not on the steps, but the resolve to know nothing but Jesus and him crucified. The actions steps point me in that direction and provide a means to put my faith into action.

In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. (James 2:17)

I look forward to sharing with you throughout the year how God has worked this in my life. Please share your thoughts and join with me in 2012 to resolve to know nothing but Jesus, to focus on Him and His Word and to put into Action your faith.

Melissa K. Norris: Grow Closer to God in 2012

Tue, 3 Jan 2012 09:23:00 PST

Do you make New Year resolutions and goals?

Many of want to become more organized, thinner, healthier, happier, and the list goes on.

No matter what your goal, you have to implement a plan or steps to get you to your end goal. If you say you want to run a 5K marathon, but don’t specify how many times a week your going to workout, then chances are, you’ll never get there.

As Christians, we may say we want to devote more time to God and following Him.

In fact, I hope this is something everyone strives for, including myself.

But, unless we set some sort of plan or guideline into motion, we’ll most likely quit in a week or so.

In order to grow closer to God there are three things we must do.

1. Find the Holy Spirit. When Jesus returned to Heaven, He gave us the gift of the Holy Spirit. Without the Holy Spirit, we have no connection to God or Jesus while we’re still in a sin filled world. If you seek the Holy Spirit, God promises we will find Him.

For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:8

2. Listen to the Holy Spirit. Once you’ve asked God to reveal His Holy Spirit to you, you must listen to Him.

But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you. All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will take from what is mine and make it known to you. John 16:13-15

Jesus tells us the Holy Spirit only speaks what He hears from God’s own mouth.

3. Spend time in God’s word. You must read your Bible. The Bible is God’s most precious gift to us other than the sacrifice of His son. It tells us how we are to find Him, how to live, everything about Him is inside the Bible. When we read it with the help of the Holy Spirit, verses will take on special meaning and relevance to things we are going through.

Have you ever been struggling with something, opened the Bible, and found a verse that fit your situation exactly? That is the Holy Spirit.

Have you ever been dealing with something and a snippet of verse came to mind? That is the Holy Spirit and God speaking to you through His living word. If you don’t know His word, or spend time in it, then you make it very difficult for God to speak to you. And you can’t know someone if you don’t converse with them.

So pray this with me.

Dear Jesus,

Please fill us with your Holy Spirit. May this year be one where we are overflowing with your presence. May nothing stand between us and you. Lift the blinders from our spiritual eyes and unplug our spiritual ears so that we may see and hear you like never before. In Jesus name, Amen.

How have you experienced God’s presence in your life?

Melissa K. Norris is a fiction author and member of NCWA since 2009. Increase your faith and find God in everyday life experiences with your daily of dose of Faith, Friends, and Frappuccinos blog. Find her on Facebook for all things writing and Jesus related. Visit www.melissaknorris.com to read the first page of her historical romance novel.

2012: Resolve Focus Action

Mon, 2 Jan 2012 10:13:00 PST

Yesterday morning I felt the Spirit nudge me to clean up our guest room, which tends to be more of a “catch-all” storage room. I knew it was the Lord prodding me since I absolutely had no desire to do that task at this time. In reality, He was preparing my heart for a cleansing. I wasn’t surprised when my husband announced later that morning (we hadn’t discussed this at all) we were going to clean that room. God often works this way in our marriage, placing the same things on our hearts. But I wasn’t prepared for the struggle I would face in doing the task. Ladies, I’m sure you can relate. You know you need to do a task, but you really don’t want your husband to take charge in the process.

My husband simply wanted to make the room more comfortable for guests and provide an area for me to paint when I felt the urge—a hobby I’ve had to set aside due to space limitations. However, in order to do so, I had to let go of some books, pictures, and treasured keepsakes. Plus, it meant cleaning out the closet, a task I totally dread. As I worked through my attitudes and whining, I realized God was using this to start me on the journey of the new year.

God impressed on my heart three words for 2012—resolve, focus, and action. While 2011 was filled with blessings and grace, it was a tough year as well, especially the latter half. Due to circumstances beyond my control I had to set aside some personal goals and tasks. I’ve battled with discouragement as I look back at my uncompleted plans for the year—book proposals, new blog site, article submissions, and a few more. Yet, God helped me accomplish so many great things, both in my personal ministry and my career as Publicity Director at WinePress Publishing, so it’s a sin for me to complain.

Since most of my 2011 goals, desires, and self-promises remain unfilled and I haven’t a clue what 2012 has in store, I’ve decided making New Year resolutions or yearly goals isn’t working for me. Instead, God is bringing me back to the passage included in my mission statement:

When I came to you, brothers (sisters), I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching (writing, blogging, speaking) were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power. (1 Corinthians 2:1-5 my additions.)

Here’s my hope for 2012:

Resolve. The hardest thing to do is to resolve to “know nothing” but the will of God. My opinions and wants block that determination. Don’t misunderstand, I still have a list of things I want to do or feel God leading me to do. But at the end of this year I want to look back and say that I remained steadfast in God’s plans not my own.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10)

Focus. Once I know God’s will I must stay focused, which goes along with being resolved. When I’m determined to stay within God’s plan, then I shouldn’t allow other things to distract me. Unfortunately, I’ve always been one of those “I can fix it” types. So when a “crisis” comes along I automatically feel responsible to solve the problem. My husband always reminds me that I cannot whine about not completing my own personal stuff because God will take care of everything.

Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil. (Proverbs 4:25-27)

Action. When I’m in fix-it mode my mind tends to go in a million directions. It’s like I have to do everything—NOW! Staying resolved to follow God’s will gives me the freedom to determine what actions to take and when.

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. (1 Peter 1:13)

Now I look forward to seeing what God has in store for 2012. I am resolved to know nothing but God’s will and will stay focused in accomplishing and taking actions steps to complete His plans. My prayer for you is that God will make His plans for you clear and that you will join me in surrendering to His perfect please will. I would love to hear your plans and hopes for 2012 and to pray for you to accomplish God’s will this year.

Related Scriptures for Meditation:

I will give them singleness of heart and action, so that they will always fear me for their own good and the good of their children after them. (Jeremiah 32:39)

Oh, that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees! (Psalm 119:5)

In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. (James 2:17)

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. (Isaiah 26:3)

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)

Boxing Day. A Day of Cleansing!

Mon, 26 Dec 2011 11:25:00 PST

Today, in the UK, is Boxing Day or St. Stephen’s Day. When I asked my British friends, including my Scottish/English daughter-in-law, “What is Boxing Day?” they cannot give a solid answer. One said that it’s just extra day off after Christmas. Another said it’s the day to clean up the “boxes” and finish off the leftovers from Christmas.

Historically Boxing Day came from era when the wealthy gave gifts to their servants. In order to keep things running smoothly on Christmas Day, the servants remained on duty and had the following day off to spend with their own family. On their departure the homeowners gave their servants boxes filled with gifts, bonuses, and leftover food to share with their families.

Other information states that the tradition stems from the Middle Ages when special metal boxes were left outside of the church. Parishioners would drop extra monetary gifts in the box to celebrate St. Stephen’s Day in remembrance of the first Christian martyr (Acts 6-7).

Whatever the day means—a bank holiday, clean-up day, or a day to think of those less fortunate, for most it’s a day of fresh starts. Our family doesn’t celebrate Christmas in the traditional manner of exchanging gifts; therefore the holiday is a day of peaceful freedom and rest. However, I know that most of my readers are spending today cleaning and “boxing” up from yesterday.

As you clean up today, I would encourage you to “box” up things that have dragged you down. Perhaps you have had financial stress or health issues this past year. Or maybe there are some old habits you would like to “box” up once and for all—such as procrastination or overeating. Today would be a good day to remain mindful of Christ and the fact that His birth led to His death which gave us the gift of salvation. He boxed up all our sins on the Cross, never to open them again. The problem is that we tend to drag out those old boxes and hang them out again and again. So today, I encourage you to celebrate Boxing Day, by surrendering all to Him. Box up those sins and anxieties and hand them to the Lord.

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God , (John 14:1)

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)

Rejection or Redirection?

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 06:53:00 PST

Rejection. Rejection has been a big part of my life.

I’ve experienced my share of criticism and rejection from family and friends with whom I have spoken Truth in their lives. Then there have been the career rejections. I could paper my walls with the many rejections I’ve received as a writer. Years ago a friend encouraged me to call these “returns” instead of rejections. My writers group (Northwest Christian Writers Association) calls publishing denials “redirections.”

Moms face a lot of rejections and often have to reject things themselves.

You spent an entire day with a crying toddler who instantly starts smiling when Daddy walks in the door.
Your ten year-old “Momma’s little boy” suddenly doesn’t want to be kissed by you in public.
Your thirteen year-old daughter doesn’t need your advice and slams her bedroom door in your face.
You have to turn down an offer to serve on a committee because your plate is already too full.

We often experience “redirection” in our lives.

You plan a day of important errands only to wake up to a sick child who must stay near the bathroom.
You schedule a “date night” with your hubby, but discover that one of your kids has an important school activity.
You prepare a special meal for the family, for which they all promptly curled their noses at.
Your teen decides to run with the wrong crowd and heads in a direction you never imagined.

I’ve learned—sometimes in painful ways—the following passage:

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

I can send out submissions, write my to-do lists, and make plans, but more times than not, God redirects my steps. The trick is finding peace and joy in the redirection and accepting God’s will. Too often I’ve sulked over the change in plans rather than rejoiced in God’s excellent ways. From experience I’ve discovered the following secrets:

It’s important to seek advice. My plans succeed when I seek the Lord and ask others, especially my husband, for help and counsel.

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. (Proverbs 15:22) Make plans by seeking advice; if you wage war, obtain guidance. (Proverbs 20:18)

When I speak the Truth in love, I will face rejection. But that’s okay. In fact, if we don’t face rejection, then we should examine our lives to be sure we are living the Gospel.

Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. (Luke 6:22)

In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, (2 Timothy 3:12)

Going my own way leads to disaster. Whenever I’ve tried to manipulate to fulfill my own desires and make my plans work, invariably nothing goes right. In fact, things seem to go just the opposite.

When such a person hears the words of this oath, he invokes a blessing on himself and therefore thinks, "I will be safe, even though I persist in going my own way." This will bring disaster on the watered land as well as the dry. (Deuteronomy 29:19)

God’s plans are passed onto my children. Our kids experienced us following God’s will no matter the cost. Now they are teaching their children to do the same.

But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations. (Psalm 33:11)

God will have the last say. In spite of my stubbornness, God makes sure that His plans are fulfilled.

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails. (Proverbs 19:21)

God’s plans are good. We cannot see what waits us around the corner, but God longs to bless us.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD , "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

As look back at this year, most of my plans were not fulfilled—at least as I had desired. God had to redirect my steps. I hope that the desires of my heart matched the Lord’s desires and plans for me—then 2011 was a success.

May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. (Psalm 20:4)

No Turning Back. Pressing Toward the Goal.

Mon, 12 Dec 2011 04:22:00 PST

One of my favorite childhood pastimes was hiking railroad tracks. I daydreamed about following the tracks and not looking back, without a care of where they ended. These hikes helped me escape the pain and confusion I felt. Of course, I never went more than a few miles before turning back—but oh the adventures I took in my mind.

This week Timothy and I will celebrate our 37th anniversary. We’ve traveled down many paths and tracks together. As we turn the corner of nearly four decades together, it’s tempting to look back and see the mistakes I made and sometimes long for the clock to turn back. Yet, the lessons God taught us through those times blessed our marriage, family, and ministry with incomprehensible grace. It’s much more exciting to look forward to the future blessings He will pour out in the years to come than dwelling on past regrets.

One way I’ve learned not to mull on the past is by letting go at the moment. Oh the sleepless nights tossing and turning, wishing I hadn’t spoken harshly to my child; fretting over unfinished tasks; or thinking that everyone must think I’m super stupid. Can you relate?

God’s grace teaches me to let go and press forward. Surrendering my pride I can immediately ask forgiveness to my child or lift my list up to God or tell the Evil One or my thoughts to “shut up.” This peace of mind takes willful choice and practice and doesn’t come easy.

It’s tempting to want to hang onto relationships and things of this earth, especially marriage and family, rather than looking forward to seeing God face-to-face. Since we were originally created to not die, it’s hard for us to conceive death—especially our own. The goal is to press forward and not look back. As a young woman this was a tough lesson to learn. Over the years God placed me in many situations that caused me to become more “eternal minded” and to realize life on earth is fleeting.

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. (James 4:14)

Such passages use to freak me out and cause me to fret that I would never fulfill God’s plan and purpose in my life. What a short-sighted fear! I’m finding joy in letting go of the things of this earth and hanging tighter to the eternal. As a result, I find myself resting and enjoying God’s presence more. I spent too many years hanging onto my life and trying to be something or doing great things, instead of simply being in His presence. Unfortunately this is a lesson young women sometimes must learn for themselves. But as a older woman or spiritual mom, I can spare younger women a little heartache by encouraging them not to turn back and let go of the things of this world.

Remember Lot's wife! Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it. (Luke 17:32-33)

I no longer want to be like Lot’s wife, always looking back. As God cleanses my heart of the ties of this earth, I’m finding myself wanting to follow tracks again—heavenly ones. But now I can press on and not turn back.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12-14)

Today let’s explore those things that keep us from moving forward. This season often brings good memories, but also stirs up regrets. What earthly ties do you find yourself still hanging onto? Are there things or situations from the past you wish you could take back or redo? What goals does God have before you?